Also, this icon pleases me in my soul.

[sabinelagrande]

1. After much sojourning, I am home. Glorious home! It may interest you to note that I have the most comfortable bed in the entire universe.

And waiting for me, Turn Coat! And Starman Omnibus Vol. 2! And Comic-Con Magazine...? And also an offer from Harvard University Press to sell me a lot of Classics books. Is this because I joined the AIA?

2. Seriously, people. If I read one more fic that is written in third person limited from John's point of view, and in which Rodney is referred to in narration as "his lover" (feel free to insert any other two male characters, this rant still applies), I am going to fucking SCREAM.

I have never, in my entire adult life, heard any native speaker of English seriously refer to another person as "my lover". And Jesus Christ, especially not John. Rodney might be his buddy, or his partner, or his friend, or his um-friend (you know, you go to introduce them, and all you can think to say is, "This is my, um, friend?"), or, even though it sort of makes John feel like a 14-year-old girl, his boyfriend. But for fuck's sake, not his lover.

ETA: Now, with visual aids.

...Ironically, I think Rodney actually might use that word to refer to Katie Brown. But that is because he is Awkward Man, defender of inappropriately timed truth, cheek-kissing, and the Canadian way (politeness, obvs).

2a. Which brings me to my problem with Jack/Daniel, or, really, any fic with Daniel in it.

To understand this rant, you must first understand that m'colleague and I have a standing joke where he introduces me to prospective students as "The Linguist"- because I am the only grad student specializing in linguistic anthropology, and now that my advisor is on sabbatical, I really am the only linguist on campus.

So my problem with Jack/Daniel is that slash writers love epithets, for some ungodly reason (stupid English pronouns- this shit would never happen in Javanese). And the epithet most commonly used for Daniel in Jack/Daniel stories, behind possibly "the younger man", is "the linguist."

First of all, Daniel is a philologist; there is a difference. Secondly, it always makes my brain short out for a second, like people I don't even know are writing my self-inserts for me.

2b. Which brings me to my massive newfound love for Spock/Uhura, because the fic is full of so much linguistics lurve. It pleases me in my soul.

3. I am going to download some Corner Gas (Brent Butt, why so awesome?), eat some katsu don that my mom made for me, and type these notes. Tomorrow, I must actually do things, like call American (? maybe it's United) and go to therapy and bitch out this guy from the LSA. Woe, woe, that I should have to work in the summer. ::melodramatic sigh::

Comments

[leiascully.livejournal.com]

Epithets are usually fail.

[sabinetzin]

Instant fail: just add epithets!

[chaya.livejournal.com]

Have you seen the 'lover' sketch on SNL? With Ferrell and Dratch? Oh my god it's exactly what you're talking about.

[sabinetzin]

Yes! My god, that's all I can ever think of. Only my brain defaults to the iteration where Christopher Walken hosted, and they were all in the hot tub, and GOD SLASH WRITERS WHY YOU DO THIS.

[chaya.livejournal.com]

CAN WE PLEASE MAKE A 'LOVER' MACRO

PLS PLS PLS

[sabinetzin]

OH GOD YES

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT SHOULD SAY, BUT IT MUST EXIST.

[chaya.livejournal.com]

God what was that line about goat meat dripping all over their hands and mouths or something, you know what I'm talking about

MY LOVER

Let me show you him.

[sabinetzin]

OH GOD, YES.

I personally vote for the line (GET OUT OF MY HEAD, CHRISTOPHER WALKEN) about sex in the ear canal.

[chaya.livejournal.com]

YOU NEED TO FIND THIS WALKEN THING AND SHOW IT TO ME, I HAVE ONLY SEEN THE DRATCH/FERRELL ONE

DFLDSKJFLK

[sabinetzin]

THIS ONE. THIS ONE RIGHT HERE.

YOU REQUIRE IT.

[chaya.livejournal.com]

OMG THAT'S THE ONE I SAW

HOW THE HELL DID I FORGET CHRISTOPHER WALKEN WAS IN IT

[sabinetzin]

MAYBE YOU WERE TOO TRAUMATISED TO REMEMBER.

[chaya.livejournal.com]

[sabinetzin]

OH MY ACTUAL FUCK

YOU ARE MY FAVORITE

[chaya.livejournal.com]

*~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~~*

[ariadne83]

Because they are lazy can't stand the idea that the identity of the speaker might be ZOMG ambiguous.

[neevebrody.livejournal.com]

And the epithet most commonly used for Daniel in Jack/Daniel stories, behind possibly "the younger man", is "the linguist."

Or "his scientist" - OMG, that one makes me almost physically ill. I've seen Rodney referred to the same way and usually when that happens, it's the back button for me. The fic might be good, but I just can't get past poorly used epithets.

[sabinetzin]

I can handle "his scientist" (or even "the linguist") if it's in, like, action-y narration, because I could totally see John- or Jack- thinking that way about Rodney or Daniel whilst in the field. But people always seem to keep using it when they're in bed! Talk about a mood killer.

[shalom]

Nasssssssssty epithets.

And basically any words John might use to explain love, sex, or his boyfriend with too much description make me laugh. There are a number of folks out there who Mary Sue poor John and it's hilarious.

[ariadne83]

Epithets, I hate them. Outside of Homer, that is.

[clavally.livejournal.com]

Secondly, it always makes my brain short out for a second, like people I don't even know are writing my self-inserts for me.

This? Made me lol for reals.

If you ever decide you might want to read some Star Trek novels, I can recommend a few with some cool depictions of Vulcan sex.

[tavabean.livejournal.com]

For some reason it also bothers me when writers have John or Rodney refer to each other as "baby."

[mashimero.livejournal.com]

"Baby"? Really??

D:

[sabinetzin]

I know! God! That just always bothers me.

[gaffsie.livejournal.com]

I LOVE when that happens, but not for the reason the writer intended. :P It just makes me laugh and laugh. The other thing I love is when one guy picks up and carries the other one around like if they were reenacting the rainstorm scene from Sense & Sensibility. Instant hilarity.



Hi, my name is gaffsie, and I have a badfic addiction.

[mashimero.livejournal.com]

feel free to insert any other two male characters, this rant still applies

Not just male characters for me. I think I'd still cringe if it were females and they were saying it in a completely serious way. But maybe that's just me and my aversion to all things overly sappy.

Secondly, it always makes my brain short out for a second, like people I don't even know are writing my self-inserts for me.
Creepy. Reminds me of the time I saw bad porn on weepingcock where one of the characters had my name.

3. Corner Gas <3

[sabinetzin]

Oh, it definitely still gets to me if it's a female character. It's just that the whole epithet thing seems more common in slash- probably because of the pronoun problem.

Unfortunately, my given name is dirt-common (there are two totally unrelated television characters who have my first and last names and spell it the same way) so that happens more than I'd like. :(

[gaffsie.livejournal.com]

You mean that the soldier looked at his lover who was draped seductively across the bed, like a grumpy but oh so appealing bedspread. The Canadian was wearing a pair of red silk boxers and looked good enough to eat. John looked at the other man's pert little nipples and milky skin and wondered over what divine intervention could possibly have brought the scientist into his bed... Into his life. doesn't turn you into a puddle of goo? What the hell is wrong with you?! That's poetry, that is.

[sabinetzin]

Vogon poetry, maybe.

...although, I have to admit I really like the characterization of Rodney as a grumpy bedspread. It fits him.

[seekergeek.livejournal.com]

Alas, epithets! So poorly used, so frequently. *sighs* They can be used well (judiciously and in moderation) but generally aren't. One of the guidelines of writing should be: When in doubt, use their names. Names are good! Names are neutral! Names won't make your readers try to spork their eyes out!

Relatedly: does anybody really call their significant other 'baby'? Really? In real life? Because I have never, EVER run across anyone that does that. And yet they keep writing it, OMG. *headdesk*

[sabinetzin]

I dunno- I call everybody baby, but that's because I am effusively Southern. But never during sex. That's just.. a little weird.

[seekergeek.livejournal.com]

Huh. I live in the South and I get a lot of "honey"s but no "baby"s. Maybe its specific to a smaller region?

And "baby" during sex just creeps me out. It makes my mind go to a very wrong, very UNSEXY place.

[sabinetzin]

I'm bad on the "baby"s and the "darlin'"s- but maybe it's a Mississippi thing?

There's something very, very wrong about people saying it during sex though. Ageplay = do not want.

[seekergeek.livejournal.com]

Maybe. Over here in Georgia the preferred term is 'honey'.

So with you on that. *also does not want*

[luckycricket-1.livejournal.com]

Epithets! *snerk* "The Canadian". "The soldier." "The Scotsman." "the linguist". "the old guy." And NO, John would never refer to Rodney as "my lover". *rolls eyes*

Yeah, believe me I agree with you.

And for the record, I'm also a linguist [and I also get introduced that way, sometimes, "The Linguist."] and a language teacher. And yes, there IS a difference between that and a philologist.

[chkc.livejournal.com]

Haha. Epithets (especially "lover") in fic usually makes me laugh. In a horrified kind of way.

Also katsu don = deliciousness <3

[shadowenangel.livejournal.com]

Where are you finding good Spock/Uhura? Please to be sharing?

[sabinetzin]

Mostly I've been working my way through merrilily's rec list. See also: her Kirk/McCoy links (or as it is also known, The New Hotness).

[merrilily.livejournal.com]

I have never, in my entire adult life, heard any native speaker of English seriously refer to another person as "my lover".

On that note, it is seriously hilarious to go drinking with a group of people, and casually make mention of "Well once, this lover of mine and I (etc)".

Try it. Eyes will pop. Suddenly every male gaze in the bar will turn to you.

... which is not to say that there is ever an excuse to use it in a story. And yes to the epithets thingy. I click away immediately as soon as I see someone calling Rodney "the scientist" or John "the lieutenant".