The Earth-Noise Intervene

So somebody mentioned Sulu for some reason or another, and it put me in mind of these stories what I never finished.

8. I started this for the kink meme; the prompt was something like the characters switch personalities but not minds or bodies, and I think it specified Chekov and Spock switching, and then I was like FUCK IT SWAP ALL THE CREW. I feel like dizmo prompted this; I know she watched over my digital shoulder as I wrote it. I posted the first half-ish to the kink meme and never finished it, which is a shame, because some of the best of it is poor repressed Sulu- love me some Sulu- finally getting a chance to express himself and be happy about his life, and that only got written in skeleton. And I just realized I cannibalized a line in here for that Erik/Darwin story what I wrote. I keep a lot of WIPs at any given time (I have at least fifty right now, and you think I'm kidding), so I do that a lot, consciously or unconsciously.

And I think the (not-yet-written) joke at the end was that Uhura and Bones had switched and nobody noticed, though reading back that may not have been the case.

NC-17, Chekov/Bones, Spock/Uhura, Jim/Sulu, 1500 words. No notes, because I think it's pretty clear what's going on, at least in outline.

( personalityswap.odt )

9. This is another kink meme one that got half-posted, and yet another always-cis-female!genderswap, which you should really accept from me by now (though iirc this may predate The Goddamned Genderswap). Otherwise it's pretty straight up and down oblivious!Bones/lovestruck!Chekov, because they are my OTP. Haters to the left.

R, Chekov/Bones, ~1450 words

( Lesbian Bones )

This entry was automagically crossposted from http://sabinetzin.dreamwidth.org/389120.html. comments over there.

The April mini-challenge at kink_bingo were declared, so I thought I'd whip something up! So please to enjoy a little ( dirty talk rec list! )

This entry was automagically crossposted from http://sabinetzin.dreamwidth.org/217172.html. comments over there.

So this is a McCoy/Chekov story I started writing for the Star Trek Kink Meme, for this prompt, all the way back in June. I started writing something else- Home Training, I think- and lost interest in finishing it. It's not a bad little fic, it's just that it's really cracky and over-the-top, and I wasn't feeling it.

( incensedpasha.odt )

So, after coffee with arymabeth, I started typing this massive srs biznes essay today about my new pet fandom hate, and it was going to be very thinky and insightful and also sort of filled with mild raeg.

But then I came home and had dinner with my mom, and for some reason it struck us as hilarious to start telling elephant jokes. Obviously, this led to Stargate elephant jokes. So if, like me, you're twelve, please enjoy.

( It's not even fucking raining )

And two for the Trek fans:

Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a Vulcan?
A. Thrown out of Starfleet.

Q. What do you get when you cross the captain with a Vulcan?
A. Four hundred thousand hits on Google.

Title: Alternate Routes
Summary: For a spaceship with such clean, smooth lines, the Enterprise has a surprising number of dark corners and out of the way places.
Fandom: Star Trek (2009)
Word Count: 1392
Rating/Warnings: NC-17, genderswap (always-been-a-girl!Chekov), rough sex, voyeurism, dirty talk, vague D/s
Pairing: McCoy/Chekova + Sulu
A/N: Once again, for st_xi_kink. I can't help it if people keep leaving prompts I want to fill. I have also realized that this may be physically impossible (not the sex- seeing it all from the "camera angle"), but I also realized that I just really didn't care. Also, no, that word doesn't mean what Sulu thinks it means, and I am aware of that. And why do I always end up posting so much more when I have writer's block than I do normally?

( Alternate Routes )

Title: Home Training
Summary: Five Times Leonard McCoy was Southern, and one time he was really Southern.
Fandom: Star Trek (2009)
Word Count: 1368
Rating/Warnings: R, extreme Southernity, misuse of the Hotty Toddy, much fluff
Pairing: McCoy/Chekov
A/N: For st_xi_kink. Oh, my secret OTP that is not a secret, I wish I knew how to quit you. Also? dixie_chicken now owes me $20 (or maybe $10, because I think the original offer was $20 to write a story where McCoy screams the Hotty Toddy and then passes out).

( Home Training )

1. Did you ever have a day where you tried and tried to write, where you wanted to write, but everything you wrote came out stilted and wrong (for the LOVE OF FUCK, I had to rewrite that sentence three times)?

I keep flashing back to my old accompanist; bless her, she really didn't handle the English language or departmental drama real well, so she'd bitch to me about it constantly, since I was the One Sane Man of the voice majors (which is why I have a BA in anthropology). And when she'd get really pissed off, she'd pull at her hair and shout, "This is so suck!"

That's what I feel like today.

1a. Fed up with writing; will produce only Sheppard macros (for he is much like a cat) from now on.

1b. Despite that, I did actually write a little something today, wherein Rodney is a big drama queen and John is long-suffering. Sandwiches are involved. And while you're there, check out the other comments for further awesome. Oh- and I also pinch hat for remixthedrabble, and when you see it, all of you will TOTALLY AND IMMEDIATELY KNOW that I wrote it. Just sayin'. The other three, maybe not so much, but this one might as well have my username all over it.

2. Remind me when I'm feeling less bitchy that I want to do a big thinky meta post about genderswap, mpreg, noncon (the h/c flavor, not the "I'm going to stop pretending people don't get off on this/whoops it was really consent play, lol" kinds), what they say about fandom, and why they can be tools for good rather than overblown angst and OOC behavior.

3. In the category of new shit you should read, Life, the Universe, and Everything is absolutely adorable.

3a. In the category of old shit you should read, I finally read Rebuilding Babel, and holy damn, it's a long time since a fic knocked me on my ass like that one.

3b. Lately, I've been in the mood for a long hard read. I mean, I've got a whole epic-length tag on delicious, but if there's anything I haven't got that you think I should read, hit me up. No character death or unequivocally tragic endings, plz, but h/c wouldn't be amiss; I particularly like the ones where somebody ends up getting fucked up by an Ancient device. McShep preferred, though if you know of any good long Weir/Zelenka or Phoenix/Edgeworth (Ancient devices not necessary, obvs, but certainly welcomed), that would be excellent.

4. For the past three days, I've had a loop of Like a Boss, I'm On a Boat, Too Many Dicks, and Single Ladies stuck in my head.

I totally and utterly blame ontd_startrek.

5. Oh, oh, quick, somebody remind me- what episode is it where Rodney gets shot in the ass and we see his lemony boxers?

1. After much sojourning, I am home. Glorious home! It may interest you to note that I have the most comfortable bed in the entire universe.

And waiting for me, Turn Coat! And Starman Omnibus Vol. 2! And Comic-Con Magazine...? And also an offer from Harvard University Press to sell me a lot of Classics books. Is this because I joined the AIA?

2. Seriously, people. If I read one more fic that is written in third person limited from John's point of view, and in which Rodney is referred to in narration as "his lover" (feel free to insert any other two male characters, this rant still applies), I am going to fucking SCREAM.

I have never, in my entire adult life, heard any native speaker of English seriously refer to another person as "my lover". And Jesus Christ, especially not John. Rodney might be his buddy, or his partner, or his friend, or his um-friend (you know, you go to introduce them, and all you can think to say is, "This is my, um, friend?"), or, even though it sort of makes John feel like a 14-year-old girl, his boyfriend. But for fuck's sake, not his lover.

ETA: Now, with visual aids.

...Ironically, I think Rodney actually might use that word to refer to Katie Brown. But that is because he is Awkward Man, defender of inappropriately timed truth, cheek-kissing, and the Canadian way (politeness, obvs).

2a. Which brings me to my problem with Jack/Daniel, or, really, any fic with Daniel in it.

To understand this rant, you must first understand that m'colleague and I have a standing joke where he introduces me to prospective students as "The Linguist"- because I am the only grad student specializing in linguistic anthropology, and now that my advisor is on sabbatical, I really am the only linguist on campus.

So my problem with Jack/Daniel is that slash writers love epithets, for some ungodly reason (stupid English pronouns- this shit would never happen in Javanese). And the epithet most commonly used for Daniel in Jack/Daniel stories, behind possibly "the younger man", is "the linguist."

First of all, Daniel is a philologist; there is a difference. Secondly, it always makes my brain short out for a second, like people I don't even know are writing my self-inserts for me.

2b. Which brings me to my massive newfound love for Spock/Uhura, because the fic is full of so much linguistics lurve. It pleases me in my soul.

3. I am going to download some Corner Gas (Brent Butt, why so awesome?), eat some katsu don that my mom made for me, and type these notes. Tomorrow, I must actually do things, like call American (? maybe it's United) and go to therapy and bitch out this guy from the LSA. Woe, woe, that I should have to work in the summer. ::melodramatic sigh::