This is not a fic. Sort of.
Dec. 19th, 2010 10:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sabinelagrandeThere's this universe that only exists in my head, and I wish that I could get some of it out.
I like D/s AU, right? But here's the problem- in every story with John and Rodney, one of them is a top and the other one is a sub. It changes, back and forth, but they're always one of each.
And you know what? That makes them a het couple. And you know what? As much as I like het, and I do, I like it when John and Rodney are gay. I know it is, at the heart of it, a lazy way to create conflict to drive a story, but there you have it: I like conflict in my stories.
So Rodney is a top, right? And he's sort of by the book, really, and he's never thought about another top in anything approaching a homosexual way, really he hasn't. I mean, there's a little, tiny bit of top/top porn on his hard drive, but that doesn't mean anything. He only watches it for pointers- he doesn't get much time in Atlantis to practice his technique, okay? You'd be rusty too if you spent all your time running from certain peril and tempting fate at every turn. And maybe- just maybe- he got hit on at a party once by another top and he didn't immediately refuse, but he's straight, get it?
But that, of course, was before he met John. John with his stupid slouching and his subby, subby hair. John, always walking around with his big gun- honestly, does he think that's subtle?
So he thinks about John kind of a lot, in a way he's really not supposed to be thinking about another top. Word on the base is that John's into some stuff that Rodney's really not into, but, for some fucked up reason, that just makes Rodney more intrigued. How does he like his subs? What does he do in bed? Would Rodney want to see?
All the time, he's thinking about John. It's starting to have an effect on his work- not that anyone can tell, brightest mind in two galaxies and everything- and moreover, it's starting to piss Rodney off. He's got better shit to do than worry about some pretty top who 1) is a top 2) wouldn't give Rodney the time of day even if he were a sub.
And Rodney, of course, can only go so long without screwing the whole situation up. They're in trouble, again, on one of those backwater planets where they specialize in dank, underground prison cells.
Rodney is pacing up and down, getting steadily more pissed off. "If they would just punish us, like normal people, I would already be at home tending to my sore ass and not learning my lesson."
"Maybe that's why they haven't," John remarks; Rodney is about to flip him off, but he's distracted by one of the guards slipping a tray full of food underneath the door. "Hey, burritos."
Rodney sighs. "God, finally something goes right."
"Um," John says.
He takes a deep breath, resisting the urge to scream. "What is it now?"
John picks something out of the dish and held it up; it looked, for all the world, like a lime.
"Goddammit!" Rodney shouts, because he is absolutely at his limit. "I have had it with this fucking galaxy! It's not enough that we're stranded out here, or that there are Wraith waiting to suck the life out of me at every turn, or that space is turning me into a homo, or that we're in fucking jail. God forbid I could actually get something to eat that won't kill me!"
"Wait, what?" John says.
"You know very well that I can't-" Rodney stops, backtracks. "Did I just say what I think I just said?"
"Yeah," John answers flatly.
"Um. Is there a reason you look like you're thinking about kicking my ass?" Rodney says, maybe a little meekly.
John crosses his arms over his chest. "I'm waiting for you to say something ignorant before I decide."
"No way," Rodney marvels. "Seriously? But, I mean, you're you."
John looks deeply uncomfortable. "Can we talk about this, y'know, not here?"
"Actually, I really can't think of any place more appropriate to discuss it."
"No, jail would be the perfect place to discuss situational switching."
"I mean, they have similarities-"
"Fuck you," John says, narrowing his eyes at Rodney. "I'm eating your burrito."
"So do you-"
"Look, I'll make you a deal," John says wearily. "If you just stop bothering me, I'll tell you anything you want to know when we get back to Atlantis, okay?"
"What's the alternative?"
"Me kicking your ass."
"You've got a deal," Rodney says quickly.
John, of course, makes no attempt to keep up his end of the bargain. As soon as they get back to Atlantis, John darts for his room, and Rodney doesn't even see him for a day and a half. Which is all well and good for him, but Rodney's the one having a sexuality crisis over here.
So Rodney decides, after maybe too many cups of coffee, that the only thing to do is to take matters into his own hands. He goes to Sheppard's room- he doesn't even bother to knock, just lets himself in. John is standing there folding his laundry, of all the mundane things, so he's still got a crumpled up t-shirt in his hands when Rodney backs him up against the wall.
"If you came here to talk-" John starts.
"Kinda thinking about not talking," Rodney says, just before he leans in and kisses him. John kisses just like Rodney though he would, rough and a little bitey in a way that Rodney didn't think he'd like- but apparently he was wrong about that.
"Shit, Rodney," John gasps, once they break for air, "you don't do anything by halves, do you?"
"Less chance of freaking out this way," Rodney admits.
"Yeah," John says, just to fill the space before he grabs Rodney by the waist and pulls him in again for more of those harsh, intoxicating kisses.
John's t-shirt gets forgotten somewhere on the floor just around the time that Rodney throws him onto the bed. Rodney's got the upper hand for about ten seconds before John flips them over, pinning Rodney's hands against the mattress.
John looks down at him for a moment, wild-eyed, like he can't decide if he just totally fucked up. But then Rodney smiles and says, "You think you can top me, you little bitch?" and it's pretty much on from there.
And Rodney doesn't mind getting tied up a little as long as he can berate John for being a worthless little shit who couldn't tie a knot if his life depended on it, and John doesn't mind getting bossed around a little as long as it means he gets to leave marks on Rodney's skin, and nobody wins but that's okay, because everybody has a good time.
(And then later they take Katie Brown as their sub, because they really have this really hot good cop, bad cop thing going, but that's another story.)
This entry was automagically crossposted from http://sabinetzin.dreamwidth.org/280990.html.
comments over there.
I like D/s AU, right? But here's the problem- in every story with John and Rodney, one of them is a top and the other one is a sub. It changes, back and forth, but they're always one of each.
And you know what? That makes them a het couple. And you know what? As much as I like het, and I do, I like it when John and Rodney are gay. I know it is, at the heart of it, a lazy way to create conflict to drive a story, but there you have it: I like conflict in my stories.
So Rodney is a top, right? And he's sort of by the book, really, and he's never thought about another top in anything approaching a homosexual way, really he hasn't. I mean, there's a little, tiny bit of top/top porn on his hard drive, but that doesn't mean anything. He only watches it for pointers- he doesn't get much time in Atlantis to practice his technique, okay? You'd be rusty too if you spent all your time running from certain peril and tempting fate at every turn. And maybe- just maybe- he got hit on at a party once by another top and he didn't immediately refuse, but he's straight, get it?
But that, of course, was before he met John. John with his stupid slouching and his subby, subby hair. John, always walking around with his big gun- honestly, does he think that's subtle?
So he thinks about John kind of a lot, in a way he's really not supposed to be thinking about another top. Word on the base is that John's into some stuff that Rodney's really not into, but, for some fucked up reason, that just makes Rodney more intrigued. How does he like his subs? What does he do in bed? Would Rodney want to see?
All the time, he's thinking about John. It's starting to have an effect on his work- not that anyone can tell, brightest mind in two galaxies and everything- and moreover, it's starting to piss Rodney off. He's got better shit to do than worry about some pretty top who 1) is a top 2) wouldn't give Rodney the time of day even if he were a sub.
And Rodney, of course, can only go so long without screwing the whole situation up. They're in trouble, again, on one of those backwater planets where they specialize in dank, underground prison cells.
Rodney is pacing up and down, getting steadily more pissed off. "If they would just punish us, like normal people, I would already be at home tending to my sore ass and not learning my lesson."
"Maybe that's why they haven't," John remarks; Rodney is about to flip him off, but he's distracted by one of the guards slipping a tray full of food underneath the door. "Hey, burritos."
Rodney sighs. "God, finally something goes right."
"Um," John says.
He takes a deep breath, resisting the urge to scream. "What is it now?"
John picks something out of the dish and held it up; it looked, for all the world, like a lime.
"Goddammit!" Rodney shouts, because he is absolutely at his limit. "I have had it with this fucking galaxy! It's not enough that we're stranded out here, or that there are Wraith waiting to suck the life out of me at every turn, or that space is turning me into a homo, or that we're in fucking jail. God forbid I could actually get something to eat that won't kill me!"
"Wait, what?" John says.
"You know very well that I can't-" Rodney stops, backtracks. "Did I just say what I think I just said?"
"Yeah," John answers flatly.
"Um. Is there a reason you look like you're thinking about kicking my ass?" Rodney says, maybe a little meekly.
John crosses his arms over his chest. "I'm waiting for you to say something ignorant before I decide."
"No way," Rodney marvels. "Seriously? But, I mean, you're you."
John looks deeply uncomfortable. "Can we talk about this, y'know, not here?"
"Actually, I really can't think of any place more appropriate to discuss it."
"No, jail would be the perfect place to discuss situational switching."
"I mean, they have similarities-"
"Fuck you," John says, narrowing his eyes at Rodney. "I'm eating your burrito."
"So do you-"
"Look, I'll make you a deal," John says wearily. "If you just stop bothering me, I'll tell you anything you want to know when we get back to Atlantis, okay?"
"What's the alternative?"
"Me kicking your ass."
"You've got a deal," Rodney says quickly.
John, of course, makes no attempt to keep up his end of the bargain. As soon as they get back to Atlantis, John darts for his room, and Rodney doesn't even see him for a day and a half. Which is all well and good for him, but Rodney's the one having a sexuality crisis over here.
So Rodney decides, after maybe too many cups of coffee, that the only thing to do is to take matters into his own hands. He goes to Sheppard's room- he doesn't even bother to knock, just lets himself in. John is standing there folding his laundry, of all the mundane things, so he's still got a crumpled up t-shirt in his hands when Rodney backs him up against the wall.
"If you came here to talk-" John starts.
"Kinda thinking about not talking," Rodney says, just before he leans in and kisses him. John kisses just like Rodney though he would, rough and a little bitey in a way that Rodney didn't think he'd like- but apparently he was wrong about that.
"Shit, Rodney," John gasps, once they break for air, "you don't do anything by halves, do you?"
"Less chance of freaking out this way," Rodney admits.
"Yeah," John says, just to fill the space before he grabs Rodney by the waist and pulls him in again for more of those harsh, intoxicating kisses.
John's t-shirt gets forgotten somewhere on the floor just around the time that Rodney throws him onto the bed. Rodney's got the upper hand for about ten seconds before John flips them over, pinning Rodney's hands against the mattress.
John looks down at him for a moment, wild-eyed, like he can't decide if he just totally fucked up. But then Rodney smiles and says, "You think you can top me, you little bitch?" and it's pretty much on from there.
And Rodney doesn't mind getting tied up a little as long as he can berate John for being a worthless little shit who couldn't tie a knot if his life depended on it, and John doesn't mind getting bossed around a little as long as it means he gets to leave marks on Rodney's skin, and nobody wins but that's okay, because everybody has a good time.
(And then later they take Katie Brown as their sub, because they really have this really hot good cop, bad cop thing going, but that's another story.)
This entry was automagically crossposted from http://sabinetzin.dreamwidth.org/280990.html.
