sabinelagrande | THIS IS MY EXCITED FACE (Reply)

Despite all the casual racism tossed around in my family (which, this year, included the most perplexing racist statement I have ever heard- it was truly one of those "so racist you can't even get mad" moments) and almost throwing a panic attack on the ride back from my grandmother's, it was a pretty good Christmas.

On the materialistic front, by far the coolest things I received were:

-the Blade Runner umbrella I have been coveting since... well, since I first learned of their existence, which was directly after saying "Fuck flying cars, where is my Blade Runner umbrella?!" on twitter one day;

-a copy of the Fantod Pack from

arymabeth, who, it must be said, is the best at gifts (as she also got me a MAC gift card, because she knows me all too well, which I will blow on blue eyeshadow because my mom got me the nail polish set I'd been drooling over-

Sidebar: Did you know when you order online from MAC, it comes in a completely black package? Black box, black tissue paper- they even have black packing tape.

Anyway, back to the story.);

-an Amazon.com gift card, which is awesome because I blew the whole thing (plus some extra that my mom picked up) on a BRAND NEW SEWING MACHINE.

You guys don't even know how excited I am. We are a two-sewing-machine family; my mother has an all-metal Singer from the fifties that is amazing. I have a Kenmore from the early eighties that is... not amazing. It still works, but it's gotten to the point where every other stitch is useless or the machine jams entirely. I have been sewing on this damn thing since I learned to sew, which was, good god almighty, twenty years ago, and it has never done me any favors. Many are the projects that got fucked up by it- thankfully, not usually fucked up beyond repair, but ask

arymabeth about her Galactica BDUs sometime.

So what did I buy with my Christmas money? If you guessed an all-metal Singer, you are correct!

It is a Singer 4411 Heavy Duty, and OMG. It is not even here yet and already I am in love with it. I got an AMAZING deal on it, too, almost half-price. I expect it to be with me for many, many years to come- I purposefully picked a workhorse analog machine that'll take a beating. I could've gotten an electronic sixty-stitch machine for thirty bucks more or something like this, but that shit'll tear up in, like, twenty years, which is ridic.

WE ARE SERIOUS AS HELL ABOUT SEWING AROUND HERE. HIGH ARE OUR EXPECTATIONS.

Before I settled on this one, I also considered the Singer Talent, which is, essentially, the same machine done in plastic with more stitches for sixty dollars more (technically I think it's actually $20 less MSRP, but with Amazon, the deal was much better on the more expensive machine). Before deciding against it, I looked around and read the reviews of it (which, in fairness, were almost all positive).

I tell you that to show you this: upon the HSN website, I found these absolute gems. I suspect they are funnier if you know how to work a sewing machine, but the first one, at least, is pretty much universally funny. As always, click to embiggen.

Yeah. So, that happened.

It was like a whole 'nother Christmas present on its own.

TL;DR: SEWING MACHINE, etc.

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