Stranger than fiction?

[sabinelagrande]

WTF.

So, the fic I was writing for remixredux, the one that I was just tearing up yesterday? I may not be able to finish it.

I woke up at four AM, having dreamed that what happens in the remix (I'd be more specific, but, y'know, secrets and all) happened to me, and it was absolutely terrifying and miserable. I felt so awful in the dream that I don't even know if I can subject my characters to it. This has never happened to me before. I don't get it. I've written some fucked up shit, but I'd never had nightmares over it. I've killed my favorite characters, I've broken them up, I've put them in all sorts of unlawful sexual situations, often against their wills. And this fic, it really isn't that bad- no non-con, no incest, no violence, no chan, no zombies, no nothing. It's honestly kind of old meme for the fandom.

So tell me, Flist, has this ever happened to you? Do you dream about what you write? Have you ever started writing something, only to look at it and decide it was a bridge too far? Am I a pussy if I write something else, even knowing it's not going to be as good as the planned fic?

I think I need some chocolate and a lie down.

Comments

[rosehiptea.livejournal.com]

I've dreamed about what I've written and what I'm going to write.

And I've looked at the screen and said... I can't do this, about stuff which seems way less messed up than what I have actually written.

So, in other words, yeah.

And the bottom line is, write what you really feel you can write. If you can work through in your head why it bothers you so much and write what you planned to, that's great, if you can't or you just don't feel like it then it's up to you.

There have been several times I end up writing something that isn't quite what I planned, for good reasons and bad, and it doesn't always mean the final product sucks.

I say that like I'm the great advice-giver all of a sudden. But I'm writing a fic right now that's making me uncomfortable, and I'm trying to figure out what to do with it, so I can relate.

[pyrasaur.livejournal.com]

My dreams tend to be harmless random. And I'm a weird duck, so I'm all for the freakish kinks and psychological torment but was deeply unsettled the time I wrote romantic-movie-dates-as-a-couple fic.

*headscritch* Hey, do whatever you feel is best. You can take this fic as a mental challenge and a chance to personally grow, or you can get rid of the fic for your own comfort and well-being. Or whatever else works for ya.

[shadowenangel.livejournal.com]

I've written things that have made me physically ill. (the last fic I wrote being among them *shudders*) It usually hits me really hard during the typing-up process. I find that taking a break usually helps.

Normally, if I dream in fic it's usually something I've read or one of the many chapter fics that I will never get around to writing.

*pets you* The reason we love characters is so that we can do horrible things to them. You'll be fine.