Fandom annoyances: the Hellsing edition.

[sabinelagrande]

1. Goddamnit, people, enough with the Engrish already! I know romanizations are tricky, but there are already 5 manga volumes and 13 episodes dubbed in English.
1.1. Calling him Arucard will just cause people to snicker derisively about Rord Dracura.
1.2. Seras Victoria does not start with a C.
1.3. It's Dornez. I swear to God. I know some of the official anime merchandise spells it Ddollneazz. That just hurts to look at. It's Dornez. Trust me.
1.4. Walter likes Dune and has evil tendencies. That's why it's the Harkonnen. Spelling it Halconnen makes Frank Herbert cry, which is especially sad because he's dead.
1.5. Please spell it Jan, not Yan. Kohta Hirano even made a little note about it.
1.6. Bubbancy. Don't argue. Bubbancy.

2. For the love of all that is holy, Pip is not Australian. Let Erin from And Shine Heaven Now explain it to you.

3. Ok, we get it. Vampires are cool to the touch. It is not necessary to mention it in every. damn. fic. Yes, it is sort of cool, but it is getting old. This goes double for smut.
3.1. Let me add that while this is canon for other fandoms, cold vampires are fanon for Hellsing. Your particular iteration of vampyric character may be warm if you think they should be warm.
3.2. Even if you accept that vampires are cold, well fed and recently fed vampires should be warm. Just sayin'. See 3.1 if you disagree.

4. Here's a type of sentence I've seen in many a Seras fic: "The young vampire did blah". Stop and think before you write this. Were she to read your fic, would Seras like it if you referenced her in this fashion? Or would it make her uncomfortable? In my opinion, it is OOC to refer to her, at least before manga volume 6 or so, in such a manner.
4.1. The term "draculina" is an insult that Anderson used towards Seras. Referencing her as such is like calling Integra "English sow", and you know she'll cut a bitch for that.

5. We don't all speak German. Yes, it is very neat when Millennium speaks German, but please, at the very least make an author's note translating what the hell they're saying.


I'm sure there are more, but those are the ones getting on my ass right now.

Comments

[rosehiptea.livejournal.com]

*opens latest smut opus*

*edits rapidly*

[sabinetzin]

Oh man, icon love.

[dying-dreams.livejournal.com]

Amen to that. *bows*

[krymsnengyle.livejournal.com]

Amen!

...I think I'll be removing accents from a recent fanfic of mine, now.

[shahrizai.livejournal.com]

Did not know about the Harkonnen thing - the sub uses Halconnen, I believe.

Other than that, I just stay in my little cramped corner of AlucardxIntegra and hide.

[lyakane.livejournal.com]

Marry me.

Lovely rant/clarification!

[xerne.livejournal.com]

3. Ok, we get it. Vampires are cool to the touch. It is not necessary to mention it in every. damn. fic. Yes, it is sort of cool, but it is getting old. This goes double for smut.

You have to describe something or you're just going to be describing mechanical actions. Virtually every smut fic between humans talks about the touch or feel of skin; why should that stop just because one of those involved has an unusual body temperature?

That's like saying "Yes, we get it, rooms have doors. It's not necessary to mention it in every fic." Yeah, I can probably assume rooms have doors, but it's sometimes nice to note when someone opens one.

4. Here's a type of sentence I've seen in many a Seras fic: "The young vampire did blah". Stop and think before you write this. Were she to read your fic, would Seras like it if you referenced her in this fashion? Or would it make her uncomfortable? In my opinion, it is OOC to refer to her, at least before manga volume 6 or so, in such a manner.

... Wouldn't you at least want to check what the narrative voice is before you declare what's in or out of character for it? I don't think Seras would refer to herself in that fashion, but she is a young vampire, so I don't know why a third person omniscient voice, for example, or certain third person limited voices, wouldn't refer to her that way.

Also, regarding 4.1, are you sure that's the only place it's used? I could have sworn I saw it used otherwise as well, as a term for "female vampire", but I may be mistaken.

[sabinetzin]

You have to describe something or you're just going to be describing mechanical actions. Virtually every smut fic between humans talks about the touch or feel of skin; why should that stop just because one of those involved has an unusual body temperature?

I'll admit, this particular rant was more because it'd just read rather a lot of smut in one sitting and was just tired of hearing it. The main thing that irks me is that it's fanon, but nobody seems to question it.

Wouldn't you at least want to check what the narrative voice is before you declare what's in or out of character for it?

The stories I was talking about were mostly third person limited from Seras's perspective, where it really does feel out of place. Once again, these are the fics I kept reading, therefore this was the complaint I kept having.

As to "draculina", I'm sure I've heard it before, but I'm almost positive that that's the only time it appears in canon.

[xerne.livejournal.com]

Yes, in a 3rd person limited Seras POV that would be OOC, I agree.

Re: Draculina, I'll check when I get home tonight if you like. I'm almost positive Integra said it somewhere.

[sabinetzin]

I can look through my manga now, but I haven't got volume one. ::goes to check::

[sir-hellsing.livejournal.com]

The main thing that irks me is that it's fanon, but nobody seems to question it.

If you're following Dracula, it's certainly not fanon. The Count was very cold in touch.

[wtftastic.livejournal.com]

Wow.. finally someone airs my grievances.. but WALTER ISN'T EVIL *runs away and cries*. Is good german acceptable?

[rosehiptea.livejournal.com]

I thought she meant sort of "vicious" or "dark" tendencies like when he was young and more of a a killer? Because I don't think he's "evil" either. And he doesn't remind me a bit of Baron Harkonnen. *shudders*

(Me personally I vote for good German but only a little of it?)

[sabinetzin]

There's a big difference between having evil tendencies and being evil. Walter has the capacity to be evil, but (until the two volumes of the manga that I still haven't read) he isn't.

Good German is mandatory. But... not too much, parce que je ne parle que francais et anglais, et plupart de gens ne sont pas des polyglots.

[rosehiptea.livejournal.com]

I don't want to spoil a lot for you but the new stuff isn't something that Walter is doing of his will.

But anyway, capacity to be evil, I think that's pretty clear, yes.

Well, too much of any foreign language is going to be unfair to someone, I'd think. If it isn't Spanish or English I'm pretty lost.

[sabinetzin]

I kinda figured as much, having read a post-Millennium ficlet or two.

Sigh. Oh well. At least he survives the anime unscathed.

[sir-hellsing.livejournal.com]

1.6. Bubbancy. Don't argue. Bubbancy.

Pardon? Says who? Pioneer? Arucard anyone?

Ok, we get it. Vampires are cool to the touch. It is not necessary to mention it in every. damn. fic. Yes, it is sort of cool, but it is getting old. This goes double for smut.

Normal human reaction. The same could apply to bad breath, since they are corpses. Which Dracula has, Mina described his reeking lips quite a lot ;)

4.1. The term "draculina" is an insult that Anderson used towards Seras. Referencing her as such is like calling Integra "English sow", and you know she'll cut a bitch for that.

It's not a bad term at all. At least not in the Spanish and (for the Katakana I understand) Japanese version. It's 'female vampire' equivalent. Sort of calling Integral: Woman.

5. We don't all speak German. Yes, it is very neat when Millennium speaks German, but please, at the very least make an author's note translating what the hell they're saying.

Not necessary unless the author wants the reader to know what they are saying because it's important to the plot. When you read a novel and they are speaking in another language, there's no translation beneath at all. Same applies in fanfiction.

That's why it's the Harkonnen. Spelling it Halconnen makes Frank Herbert cry, which is especially sad because he's dead.

I spell it Harkonnen, however Hirano spelled it Harkkonen and Hallconnen, so there's no real authority to make fan writers chose a 'real' spelling.

[noblesseoblige.livejournal.com]

HAH I agree wholeheartedly.

Describing that a vampire is cold during a smut scene is important to the setting. However, it does get old when people constantly say his breath smells of blood and wine. Why not decay and rotting flesh? Could be interesting.

[sir-hellsing.livejournal.com]

Unless Alucard was introduced to Mrs. Toothpaste and Mr. Toothbrush, he will have a damn bad breath.

[noblesseoblige.livejournal.com]

I think he would have been a la young Walter and Arthur.

[sir-hellsing.livejournal.com]

Perhaps. But it's centuries of bad breath...

[sir-hellsing.livejournal.com]

*edits*

Remember he ate horses too.

*stops spaming*

[noblesseoblige.livejournal.com]

True. He needs some bleach up in that.

Ah another nitpick

[sir-hellsing.livejournal.com]

3.2. Even if you accept that vampires are cold, well fed and recently fed vampires should be warm. Just sayin'. See 3.1 if you disagree.

Well fed with alive victims. Not blood packages. They turn warm because the living blood they consume is that way.

However, some vampires may fake their body heat if they are strong. I don't believe Alucard will bother, he's proud to be what he is and if he would be put in an intimate situation with a human partner, he would not coddle him/her with promises of humanity, but retain the cold to show he is not human yet they chose to bed him.