This is why we can't have nice things.

[sabinelagrande]

1. If I see the words "Cherik" or "McFassy" one more time, I am absolutely going to shit my pants. What are we, 14-year-old anime fans, or are we just grown-ass people who should be ashamed of ourselves?

Says the McShep shipper. Look, at least we just have the one, and it's not completely fucking stupid.

We will, however, accept Fassavoy, but only because it sounds like an expensive hotel, and that pleases me. The Bowtie and Hewligan people can also keep theirs, because they amuse me so. We are willing to go as far as Phlint, even though it is apparently idiosyncratic, because it is also pleasing.

(Where my Lawbender fans? You know you want to. If you like smush names so damn much, look at what a nice one it can have. So suggestive.

We would accept her with pretty much anyone, but that was the only smush name I could think of. Get off my back.)

2. Also, fandom at large, I can't come with you on "feels." Really? You really want to go this way? Are we really saying that now? I know I have gone in exactly the opposite direction with ~feeeeeeelings~, but that is clearly better. Look at how much nicer it looks. There are even tildes. You know you love you some tildes.

3. Oh XMFC, I already have the Smallville Problem with you, but I am starting to get the Servalan Problem as well, on top of all your other problems. Why won't you just let me love you. I only want your love, and also your pornography and pictures of James McAvoy (same thing).

4. Did you know that there are only six Pietro/Wanda stories at the AO3? Among those, I wrote two of them (one of them, a 1602 fic, has an unfinished sequel that I should have posted, uh, like six years ago now), three of them are Clint/Pietro/Wanda, and one of them is a crackfic where it's a joke amongst the characters. Seriously, you guys, not only is this a canon pairing, I know more people than this ship it. Get on the stick. ETA: Wait, no, I can't read. There are two Clint/Pietro/Wanda stories and an Evo story that's just straight up and down Pietro/Wanda. So we do have that going for us. Which is nice.

There are also no Johnny/Sue stories, but that is a rather hilarious problem that arymabeth and I have (you see, we both grew up watching the 90's cartoon, and they have the same last name, so we both separately made the assumption they were married, and now we can't un-ship it). But once again, I know other people ship it. I have talked to them about it.

3. Today was completely fucking awful, flist, but this has turned out to be an amusingly grumpy entry, so I will detail it somewhere else, if I do, in fact, detail it at all, to prevent the massive mood whiplash.

This entry was automagically crossposted from http://sabinetzin.dreamwidth.org/394495.html. comments over there.

Comments

[rosehiptea.livejournal.com]

I always thought namesmushes were more a live-action thing and anime fans went for names like HappyBoatRandomObjectShipping where you don't know what the fuck they're talking about? But it's been a while, so I dunno.

Also "feels" reminds me of someone groping me. Which reminds me that that isn't going to happen any time soon, so just stop making me cry, OK?

... What?

(Sorry your day sucked.)

[sabinetzin]

IDK, maybe I'm thinking more about Japanese video game fandom, where it's stuff like NaruMitsu and whatever else. There is a strong tendency towards totally impenetrable FlowerDrumSong ship names.

[rosehiptea.livejournal.com]

Now that you mention it I think Naruto goes in for namesmushes. Except if you put the wrong name first there is TROUBLE because who tops is a matter of importance.

... I don't know, I hang out in anime where everyone pretends they're too intellectual to ship things and then reads porn on the sly. (Or maybe that's just me...)

[sabinetzin]

Oh god, the ukes and the semes, how I do not miss fighting over that.

Of course, now I'm in fandoms where it's exactly the opposite problem, because everybody more or less insists that all couples switch, despite the fact that, y'know, the fact that a lot gay men emphatically don't.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

I like to think of it as slash fandom's "equality fetish." Which still leaves open the question of why equality has to be symbolized by equal amounts of pitching and catching.

Man, now I am flashing back to all the stories I read in dS and SV that all seemed to be constructed the same way. The story's not over until you've had enough sex scenes for each dude to have topped once, taken it up the ass once, and both sucked cock and been blown. I don't know if those stories are actually less common now than in the old-school fics, or if I just don't read them.

[sabinetzin]

I feel like it's not as bad in Atlantis fandom, but that's because I tend not to read anything but D/s. But even there, I've read more than one story where the ultimate symbol of trust was for the bottom to pitch (and one well meaning and supposedly subversive story where the story's first indication that the top was weird and offbeat and kind of bad at topping was that he wanted to pitch rather than catch).

It's kind of insidious. Because, you know, topping is powerful and bottoming isn't, because we know what being penetrated makes you...

[shadowenangel.livejournal.com]

1. I think "McFassy" is kind of adorable. It sounds... sassy. But I'm not in that fandom, and, let's face it, I'm still giggling about "Bowtie".

4. ...If you need me, I will be on the AO3.

[reddwarfer.livejournal.com]

McFassy is just terrible...though the worst smoosh I've seen was Remarry for Remus/Harry. Because Remarry. Christ. Feels is also terrible. (I saw what you were saying about the top/bottom/switch wtfery. I generally solve all my problems by making sure my favourite character bottoms...esp in d/s stories because I view it as the best thing....lol) People have odd ideas about sexual roles, I think. Who knows.

edit. I hope you feel better.

[sabinetzin]

....Remarry.

You have got to be fucking shitting me. Thank god I've never seen that one.

Yeah, my favorite characters always end up being bottoms/subs. Wish fulfillment.

[reddwarfer.livejournal.com]

Yes. remarry. Frightening.


Wish fulfillment is fun, though, as is subbing. I guess it depends on the perspective of the writers...or perception of things.

[gaffsie.livejournal.com]

Says the McShep shipper. Look, at least we just have the one, and it's not completely fucking stupid.

We also have McKeller. And Sheyla. D:

[sabinetzin]

Holy shit, do people seriously call it Sheyla? I thought it had some ridic unrelated name like Sheppard/Weir and Sparky or whatever.

[gaffsie.livejournal.com]

People do call it Sheyla. Not all the J/T shippers, but some. I don't think they were aware that there was a pornstar with that name already.

The major comm name is unrelated: sga_beya, and I hate it, preciousss. It's so horribly twee.

[sabinetzin]

Ugh. You have just made me very glad I don't like that pairing.

[gaffsie.livejournal.com]

I know! I do like John/Teyla, but they're not making it easy for me.

(Every time I see that icon, I get a yen for Elizabeth/John/Teyla. I still haven't decided if this is a good thing or a bad thing.)

[aliaras.livejournal.com]

Pretty sure it's a great thing.